We always have those moments when we have a sudden urge to do something monumental. The energy is high. The motivation is unparalleled. The fire is a burning desire. That’s what happened to me.
Last October, I revived the website intending to write more and exhibit my works. I took the effort to revamp my site, make a video trailer, and rebrand my social media presence. Words and ideas are overflowing and my heart is full. Finally! I am here, going after my writing dream.
When I thought I am back to my mandate, life made a major reroute. I deviated from my writing journey. Change has been the only permanent fixture in my life and I am left with no option but to adapt.
My co-worker resigned from her post last November. The situation put extra weight on my shoulders. I spend the majority of my days (and nights) working. I would go home to eat and sleep. Then, I repeat the vicious cycle the next day. That is my life (if you call it that) ever since.
My day job filled my mind. It clouded my thoughts since it is all I could think about. The endless stream of ideas came to a sudden halt. Colorful vision turned into a black and white picture. The bouncy sprint is now a hunched walk. The sunshine demeanor is a bleak indifference. Idealistic dreams awakened into a horrible reality. Burning fire is reduced to aimless black smoke.
I fall into the trap of the rat race – trying to fit in the mold that society set upon me. I am running in a full circle without a goal in mind. My vision is blurred by the harsh reality. I only want to survive.
Little by little, I am taking the extra effort to go find my way back home, to write words to paper. It is not an easy feat. I have to divide my time, energy, and attention to a lot of responsibilities. And there is only one of me.
But my only way to thrive is to try.
And I will live each day trying.